Cognitive dissonance is the uneasy sensation we get when our beliefs and values don’t match our actions or the new information we learn. It creates internal conflict and influences how we justify our decisions. When there’s a gap between what we believe and what we do, our minds try to fill that gap so we can feel more at ease. But do we need to fill it, or should we stop and lean into this feeling?

By taking a moment to examine why we feel this way, we might learn something important about ourselves. Yet, on the other hand, it might seem easier, and sometimes even necessary, to skip over the discomfort to get through our day. Balancing these options can offer us a chance to grow, or it might simply be our way of coping with life’s complexities.

One common example involves food and animal ethics. Many people say they care deeply about animals while still eating meat regularly. I’m not arguing that eating meat is wrong; I’m an omnivore who enjoys a nice steak or hamburger. But, I also think cows are adorable, and I want to hug every one I see. It’s hard to ignore the oddity in separating the idea of a living animal from the meat we consume. To ease the tension, we often use softer words like “harvesting” instead of “slaughtering” or pretend that the meat is something entirely different from the animal it once was.

This habit extends beyond our plates to how we see people we admire. When a beloved friend or a famous person shows behavior that conflicts with the image we hold, we tend to make excuses for them. For instance, someone might overlook the personal flaws of billionaires and focus only on their achievements, even if some of their actions raise questions. Or, you may hear that someone you respect, whether you know them personally or follow them in the news, has been caught red-handed doing something heinous, and you find yourself saying “I can’t believe it.” In doing so, we maintain a simplified, consistent picture rather than facing a more complicated reality.

On a bigger scale, cognitive dissonance reflects our struggle to make sense of an unpredictable world. We often create simplified narratives to explain complex events, whether we believe in a carefully planned order or just accept randomness. We make excuses for ourselves or situations. This need to rationalize helps us feel secure and shapes our judgments, decisions, and interactions with others.

Cognitive dissonance isn’t inherently bad. It’s not a flaw. It’s a defense mechanism so that we can hold many complex ideas in our heads at once, to try and keep us from getting overwhelmed. That’s easier said than done in today’s fast-paced world. We don’t take the time to carefully examine our thoughts and feelings; we often don’t have the time. It’s not our fault that we’re human. The best we can do is give ourselves grace and keep trying to learn a little more every day.

Ultimately, exploring cognitive dissonance invites us to examine our personal and social identities more closely. By recognizing the shortcuts and excuses we use, we can gain better insight into our actions and values. This awareness can lead to more honest self-reflection and help us engage in deeper conversations about what really matters in our ever-changing world.

A row of orange daylilies.